Deep down in my soul



Deep down in my soul

I feel the pain

Its like an arrow

Sent straight through my heart

Turned 360degrees

Deep down in my soul

Deep,so deep

Shattered,so shattered

Broken,so broken

Torn apart,so apart

Dejected,so dejected

Lost,so lost

Deep down in my soul

I feel it so bad when you look at me with those eyes

Not caring to know how I got that teenage pregnancy

Not caring to know how I was raped by four men

Each taking their turn

You never stopped to think how I came about begging on the street

All you told yourself is He's lazy

You see me unable to get a baby after some years of my maRriage

And all you can say is she has always been wayward,maybe she has aborted all the babies in her

You never bothered to get closer to know the pains

Don't judge me,stop judging me,Don't ever judge me

It hurts me

Deep down in my soul

Who are you to cast the stone at me

Do you think I want to be on this side of the wall?

Do you see the tears I shed everynight

Hoping it wasn't me

Hoping I could turn back the hands of time

Hoping to be the real ME

What you see is not me

Its that other person I fight with everyday

Struggling and wrestling

Help me through

Hold me through

See me through

It hurts so much

Deep down in my soul

Give me a reason to live again

Look through your inner eyes to see my inner mind

I need you

You need me

No matter what you think of me

We are all part of one body

Stand with me

Agree with me

That's all I need

Deep down in my soul

That's it

Every second, every minute and every hour,i find myself looking for it

Under the bed,inside the toilet, on the bookshelf and in the winecups

I searched everywhere looking in places most important and least important

My friends asked me

what are you looking for?

My family wanted to know why my room was in disarray

I told them i was searching

I was disturbed ,perplexed, troubled and frustrated

where was it?

Where did i drop it?

Did someone take it?

I cried,fought,screamed, yet i didnt find it

Then, one day in the stillness of the night

From somewhere deep in my heart came a voice loud and clear

what exactly are you looking for miss,maybe i can be of help

I sat up immediately,and said i am looking for................

I went blank, totally blank

and then i discovered an amazing thing

I never knew what i was searching for

I therefore looked in the wrong places,

And even those times i looked in the right places, 

they ended up becoming the wrong places because i didnt know it and therefore didnt see it

Friends am sure most of us have found ourselves in situations like this

Searching for what we didnt even know 

We have entered those relationships to find it

We have decided to study that course, take those exams just to find it

We have decided to go with friends to those parties, take those cups of acoholic wines with a cigarette in our mouth  all in a bid to find it

We have gone almost naked on the road, taking trips out in the night looking for it

Funny enough we have gone to the church, attended various prayer retreats and deliverance sessions just to find it

Take a pause

What exactly are you looking for?

only when you can answer that question, can you find it

stop wasting time searching in the wrong place for fame,for revenge, for money,for fulfilment, for purpose and forlove

That's it!

Have you?

Have you ever wondered what is going on in the minds of the millions of people that surround you everyday..: 
Have u ever tried to take notice of that woman sitting under the bridge and asking for alms...
Have you ever sat down to think about that little child crying for food...
The aged mother who just lost her child...
The man who works tirelessly everyday but yet can't provide the basic needs for his family..
The boy who sits next to you in class everyday but yet with the same pair of jean and shirt..
The man in the bank crying because his house is about to be taken by the bank..
The career lady whi never got to her peak..
The slave who daily prays for freedom..
The pastor who prays not to be a cast away after leadin lots to heaven..
The robber who doesn't know if that is going to be his last operation..
The rich man who never fulfilled purpose...
The young boy who never got his heart desire...
The bride that never got to be a bride...
The young man who just lost his wife and his unborn twins...
The president who doesn't know his next line of action...
The governor who has been left with lots of mess to clean up...
The newborn baby who never got to know her mother...

Friends, for a moment
Take the camera off you
Take a closer look at the person next to you
Look beyond the fake smile
Look beyond the make up and bogous jewelleries
Look beyond the givenchy specs
See that thing that connects us all as humans
So that next time you walk that pathway
Climb the stairs..
Enter the class..
On the queue..
In church..
Wherever and whatever..


You will desire to be a blessing
Remember,we are all parts of one body
And we need each other to survive
So share the smile,
Give the gift,
And reflect the love,
Nothing other than this,
Makes the world a better place